Avoid pitfalls online dating
It turns out he often got a positive response from people who thought it was a funny and honest thing to say, but when it came to going on actual dates with said women, the answer was of self-deprecation, but at some point it actually makes people uncomfortable.Most folks are willing to accept you for who you are, and if your physical peculiarities are a problem for a potential date, you don’t want to go out with them in the first place.If she’s responding with very short answers and neither asking you questions back nor attempting to facilitate more conversation, move on. Of course, once you meet her in person it’s a whole other conversation game. If you set up a real date from an online interaction, that’s a win.(Side note: try to keep it as safe a proposition as possible, like coffee in the afternoon or drinks in the evening in a public place.)So you found someone that you really connected with, someone whose profile spoke to you, where you repeatedly shouted “YES” to yourself with each successive talking point, someone whose pictures show the sum of every physical desire you’ve ever wanted. Send her a message, then immediately forget she even exists. This is particularly true for guys, who are typically the ones sending the most messages.You’re trying to give her reasons to say YES, not to say NO.I boiled it down to one qualifier for my friend: how many dates have you gotten when you used this opening line?Online dating has one goal and one goal only: to get a real, honest-to-god, in-person date with someone.Your OKCupid messages are not a time for a heart to heart.
So while I’m obviously not claiming that I’m the , I can confidently say I have learned some useful and important truths when it comes to making it work.
Even though I wouldn’t win any dick-measuring contests about how many girls I’ve gone out with from dating websites, I think I have some legitimate insights into what works and what doesn’t work because I had to put a lot of effort, trial and error into figuring it out.
And while none of this is an exact science — you just can’t predict what any one person is going to respond to — the following bits of advice are things that I’ve come to realize are particularly important in having online dating success.
Believe me when I say that sarcasm tends not to translate well online, so you have to be careful and specific with how you word things.
The idea of this isn’t to contradict Pitfall #2, it’s to reinforce the idea that you can’t make any assumptions about how you’re coming across to someone when you’re acting one way but hoping they’re feeling another. She will read many things more than just the words you write, so don’t assume the “real you” will automatically shine through the text in her inbox.