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So today, I’m going to tell you about 4 common pitfalls of meeting someone online and 4 ways you can avoid those pitfalls and increase the chance that your relationship will work.When you first meet someone you are interested in, you can spend more energy trying to make sure that they like you, than thinking about whether or not you like them.If you’ve just met someone online that you’re interested in, the fact that they have a terrible or broken relationship with family members shouldn’t be an automatic deal breaker.(You knew there was going to be a “however” didn’t you.) If you date or marry this person, issues associated with their family of origin will rear their heads in your own relationships.You tell your best stories and try hard to be interesting.You spend a lot of time and energy wondering what the other person thinks of you.

How someone answers to these questions can give you clues about how to love well, and also let you know how they may often try to express their love for you.But don’t stop at just asking them what they do and then make assumptions what they think and feel about what they do. Ask them what they love about what do, and what they find a drag about their studies or their job.Ask them where they see themselves in the future, or what their other hopes, dreams, and plans are.Meeting for a quick coffee early in the process isn’t always feasible, however. There are good reasons that asking questions and listening well are relationship superpowers.So what else can help you stay safe and date smart when you meet someone interesting online? Guard yourself against the assumptions and idealizations that can flourish in a long distance relationship. Don’t just think about the image you are presenting to this prospective partner, think about what they are telling you. Often we neglect the basics because we’re looking for a surefire tip or a secret answer we just haven’t figure out yet.

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