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Another said that after his girlfriend moved in, their sex life deteriorated.

Only 20% of the men Waehler studied had ever proposed marriage.

One asked his lover to move in and then, one month later, asked her to leave.

Studies consistently show that single people are more vulnerable to economic catastrophe because they rely on one income.

And, with fewer relatives and no children, they are less likely to have someone to care for them when they are older.

Waehler has not studied racial and ethnic variations of this trend but notes that census data show never-married black men 40 and older are about twice as likely as white men to stay single. These are men who want to be autonomous.”Other experts on bachelors--the world’s matchmakers--agree. He may find out: ‘My goodness, I thought I wanted to get married, but maybe I don’t.’ ”Waehler found the men in his study used three unconscious “defenses” to fend off marriage.

(In 1990, 6.75% of white women ages 40 to 44 had never married.) But while the phenomenon of the single woman has been analyzed in detail by writers and sociologists throughout the ‘80s, permanent bachelorhood is not well understood, Waehler says, adding that: “I wanted to know how much truth there is to the myths and stereotypes of these men, because the myths tend to be negative.”Bachelors have long been viewed by society as women-haters, attached to a parent, unhealthy, disabled, fixated on a lost love, workaholics or playboys.“People say: ‘What’s wrong with these gentlemen? Andy Myers, president of the Network Club, a video dating service in Tarzana, says his never-married, over-40 male clients “need a relationship but they don’t need marriage. The men tended to:* Be passive, under-assertive and reluctant to force themselves on other people.* Repress their feelings and remain cooly detached from their experiences.* Distort their self-images.

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