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Let go of your identification with your suffering so we can connect with the amazing being that you truly are.This article was co-authored by Paul Chernyak, LPC.But men who cannot own their fears and insecurities are more prone to them than most. Because they remind these men of the first time they felt that way.This is another ingrained response that comes naturally to the defensive male. Some key incident in their childhood where they were humiliated or made to feel unsafe, rises up in their minds.Yes, we’ve broken out of all men automatically being expected to express in this way, but the perception still persists.How many comedian’s jokes are based on men refusing to seek help when they need it? Outside of the comedic sphere, the truth of this belief still commonly reveals itself: These type of thoughts plague any insecure or stressed person.Please help me understand why someone would go about things this way. Don't do it to make him jealous, or to find a rebound. I could see he couldn't do this anymore but was having a hard time saying it all.Trust me, it's easier to suffer the old fashioned way rather than making things even more complicated. He said relationships are work but shouldn't be this much of a struggle.
He couldn't seem to get over little things, or took a long time to recover at least.
When we wish to ease our suffering, we must first own it and accept it, in order to release it.
This is my wish, my prayer, for every defensive man.
But feeling that pain, holding it in the body, letting the uncomfortable feelings rise and peak, is the way through.
Actively seeking support to stay in that pain while it rises is the solution. Deliberately letting your mask slip and being willing to accept the depth of your hurt begins the healing process.