Dating someone sexually abused child dating adrienne game
It doesn’t matter if it’s a blonde bombshell teaching in a classroom or your stereotypical “To Catch a Predator” assailant.
According to the online-support group BSAS (Black Sexual Abuse Survivors), 1 in 6 males have been sexually abused as children and 1.9 million African-American men have been sexually abused.
Unfortunately this often results in many men believing that if society doesn’t take their situation seriously, then they themselves shouldn’t either.
When a woman is involved sexually with a male who is significantly older than her she’s “violated,” but when a male has the opportunity to have sex with an older woman he’s often “congratulated.” The truth is that when sex is used to manipulate and take advantage of anyone without the full capacity to consent and understand the situation, it’s a violation.
Don’t be intimidated by what you learn about the past.
The very fact that he chose to reveal this information to you shows that on some level he trusts you and the last thing you want to do is shut him down.
It’s also important to understand that many of the issues that are causing conflict in the relationship could be due to not dealing with the past.
Ever since the 1997 imprisonment of Mary Kay Letorneau, a school teacher in her mid-thirties who admitted to engaging in sexual intercourse with 13 year-old student Vili Fualaau, sexual abuse involving male victims doesn’t seem to be taken nearly as seriously in society as cases in which the victim is female.
Yet something changed inside of me during that time and now I say this almost every day: when you are slammed against a concrete wall and thrown down a flight of stairs…when YOU are YOUR ONLY HOPE for survival and no higher being is there to lift you out of an awful situation, your hope lies within your own heart. I knew I was the only one PERSON who could save myself. I’m not ready because I don’t trust anyone that I don’t know. I have to feel strong enough that I won’t second guess every move I make. How could I ever create a successful relationship from that? Downplaying the severity isn’t helpful; it’s denial. Some days are easier than others; I know it’s getting better. The world isn’t one that seems to hold opportunity on those days. On those days I have to remind myself that I was in such a devastatingly bad place a year prior.
Frankly, I don’t trust a lot of people who I do know. Yet there are days that I’m crying before I get out of bed. I have to allow myself to cry in the shower, so that I can keep it together during the work day.
Men who experience sexual abuse may experience feelings of mistrust towards anyone, especially those whom they are involved with romantically.
They may also experience performance anxiety in the bedroom due to their internal turmoil surrounding confusion about their sexuality.