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"Lots of guys have never had experience as the primary caregiver, and they don't know what to do and have trouble adapting," Buser says."But divorce gives them an opportunity, when they are with their kids, to be a full-time parent for the first time."That's not good for you or your kids," Finley says. Talk about what's on their minds." Before divorce, some dads, Buser says, make the mistake of yielding much of their parenting role to their partners.There's a possible silver lining to divorce if they put in the work, however."Tell the woman you've just been through a tough divorce and that you're not ready for a committed relationship," he suggests."Acknowledge that it is not the right time for that." After a divorce, it's easy for guys to let themselves become isolated, especially if the ex gets custody of the kids. It can worsen feelings of depression, guilt, and loneliness, a potentially dangerous mix.Learn more about how Oath collects and uses data and how our partners collect and use data.Select ' OK' to allow Oath and our partners to use your data, or ' Manage options' to review our partners and your choices.
"You don't want to be seen as an enemy or an antagonist but as a co-parent," says Arizona State University professor emeritus of psychology Sanford L. "I'm not saying that that will be easy, but everybody will be better off." Braver, co-author of Divorced Dads: Shattering the Myths, recommends that men consider conflict and anger management classes.Too many men seek out a new relationship before the dust has settled on their divorce, says psychologist Sam J.Buser, Ph D, coauthor of The Guys-Only Guide to Getting Over Divorce.Call up old friends, join a softball team, a club, or a professional association. Just don't make the mistake of expecting your kids to be upbeat about it."Expand your social and professional network to avoid isolation." He also says that the aftermath of a divorce is great time to go back to school. "The last thing the kids want to see is parents getting involved with someone else," says Gordon E.